Blogpost #8: First Heartbreak

The night after Junior-Senior Prom, My mom found out that I already have a boyfriend. So mom was mad at me because of that, what she did was she made me break up with him. After I said that, I realized that I still wanted him in my life but I was too late. He had already given up on us. I tried and tried to talk to him but he always refused. I felt like my world was falling apart. My First Heartbreak.

I read an article entitled, "The Science Behind Heartbreak" by Ashley Cox.  It is said in this article that the depression caused by a heartbreak could prevent us from experience life to the fullest. According to Alex Zautra, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University, "Pain is the way mind responds to trouble inside the body." Stages of heartbreak follows a similar pattern of the stages of death. First, Shock and Denial, You may deny the reality of the situation. Second, Pain and Guilt, Regret for things that you have done wrong. Third, Anger and Bargaining, You'll release al lthe unspoken emotion. This stage is where the questions, "why why why?!" comes on. Fourth, Depression, Reflection and Loneliness, This is the situation where you accept and finally realized the weight of your loss. Lastly, Acceptance and an Upward Turn. Your feelings of depression will slightly be lifted, and you'll accept the things that had happened and the ability to move on occurs.

"Although most pain heartbreak is not that severe, it still has a profound effect on daily living." Even though things are over between the two of you. It may be not that hard for you or it is hard for you there will always be have an effect on you.  Tears will be flooding, You won't be able to sleep because you are thinking of what could have happened in the future if the both of you are still together.

I've read another article entitled, "Heartbreak Puts the Brakes on Your Heart" By Divya Memon. It is stated here that the process physical and social pain in some of the same regions. They made a study, they asked volunteers to send a photograph of themselves, then they asked students from another university to look at the photos of the volunteers to decide whether they like them or not. The student from the other university has wires placed on their chests for an electrocardiogram, the student looked at the unfamiliar faces from the volunteers. The student was asked to guess if that volunteer liked him/her. After that they were told whether the person actually "liked" them or not. Each participant's heart rate fell in anticipation before they found out the person's supposed opinion of them. Their heart rate was affected and dropped further and was slowing down when it came back up to its usual rate. It was said that the study shows the experiment, what they called " social rejected" could really feel "heartbreaking."

"Social rejection isn't just emotionally upsetting; it also upsets your heart." Says Memon. It really is heartbreaking and sad to know you were rejected by someone. No one wants to be rejected, right? But because of social rejection many people are having a hard time lifting up their self esteem.

We all now it's hard to get over our first love. Everyone will experience this kind of heartbreak. But let me tell you that this isn't the end of it. Accept that it's over, remove everything that reminds you of him or her. Do something that will make your everyday life back to normal.

Blogspot #7: Unconditional love

What is Unconditional love? Unconditional love differ from the kind of love that is known to us. Unconditional love is in the essence of true love. It is love without limits, reasons and bounds. This is a kind of love that loving someone without asking for their love in return.

I've read an article entitled, " Do you believe in Unconditional love?" by Jeremy Nicholson. It is said in this article that love and relationship can have separate rules. Love, because we feel it, can be unconditional. Like when a person truly loves you for who you are. Relationships are working partnerships. They require conditions, limits and commitment.

"healthy relationships are necessary too." Says Nicholson. They love their partners unconditionally but they still set rules to maintain their relationship with them. They set rules so if their relationship experience problems they'll know when to stop.

Another article is entitled, "Giving Unconditional Love When You Didn't Get It Yourself" by Laura Markham. Unconditional love, He said that we need to accept and love ourselves with our imperfections. Also researchers say that this deep self-love is the opposite of selfishness.


"We can experience unconditional love by giving it to ourselves.'' Says Markham. Just like what Markham said. Love yourself, accept yourself with all our imperfections and mistakes. How would you love someone when you, don't love yourself.

To sum it all up, Unconditional love is loving your partner unconditionally without limits, bounds and reasons. To do this, love yourself first. It's not hard to that isn't it? Relax and pamper yourself. And you'll be ready to go on hardships in life.

Blogpost #6: Friend zone

Being in a situation where one falls in love with a friend but he/she only sees him/her as a friend. In Wikipedia, Friend zone refers to a situation wherein one person wishes to be in a romantic relationship while the other does not.

Guy: Can we be more than just friends?

Girl: Sure, bestfriends! :)

Guy: No, I mean more than that.

Girl: OK, Super best friends :D

I've read this conversation in the internet before. This sucks right? I have this friend he really loves this girl, he confessed to her that he loves her but the girl wants them to be just friends? No. The girl wanted them to be BEST OF FRIENDS. That got to hurt. And, the guy said "If being her best friend will still let me be with her then I'll do it."

In the article Nice Guy Syndrome And The Friend Zone by Alisse Desrosiers, she says that friend zone is a bullshit, misogynistic, make believe land that nice guys come up to demonize women for not wanting to date them. This is a way for them to let the women think they are the one that got away.

Desrosiers says, "You don't deserve the dirt on my shoe if you don't treat me with respect." This goes to all men, so what if she friend zoned you that doesn't mean that you won't meet other people. Like what they've said "There are plenty fish in the sea." Think before you talk so women won't think you're a douche bag.

I read an article entitled Tales From the Friend Zone: REALLY Just Friends? by Dr. Gary Lewandowski. They conducted a study in which students came to the lab with a  opposite-sex friend, and they answered questions about each other. The questions were focused how much they were attracted to him (or her), the desire to date each other and their attraction to each other.

What they found? First, they found that young adults were more attracted to their female friends than females were attracted to their male friends. Second, Males' attraction to female isn't changed by relationship status. Lastly, Males overestimated female friend's interest, while females underestimated their male friend's attraction but accurately gauged the male friend's desire to date them.

According to Lewandowski, "Being attracted to someone does not mean that two people will ever hook-up or develop a relationship." Guys never pursue a romantic relationship maybe because they don't have a chance, because their female friend already has a relationship or she just simply does not see romantic potential in him. That's why guys end up being Friend zoned.

I also experienced being friend zoned. The guy I was talking about in the second paragraph, I used to like him. While he was in love with the girl. Well that was before. Now I realized that was stupid. Real stupid. Don't do what the guy did, be best friends with the one your in love with? Noooo. Don't do that if for the sake of being with her is what you want. There are many girls out there. Don't let yourself be friend zoned. You'll just get hurt. Someone is out there will like you and will not friend zone you.

Think positive! Don't think that someone just friend zoned you doesn't mean you're not worth it. You are more than what you think. Someone will be there for you. Someone deserve you. Someone will love you. Just wait. Just like what they've said, "Great things come to those who wait."

Blogpost #5: Puppy love

What is Puppy love? Does it have something to do with puppies? Well, no. Puppy love is the term used for your first crush or your some what called love in your teenage years. It has nothing to do with real love, which is a much deeper feeling towards the opposite sex. During our younger years, we experience puppy love. Which we think is 'real love', but really, its just infatuation.

I've read an article entitled, "Is it just puppy love?" by Ann Naragon. Puppy love is what parents call if their little girl that is now a teenager is having a crush on someone, and parents want to be on track on how their little girl is doing. Parents get strict saying, "You can only date someone whom I approve of and only after I have completed a full background check!" Through this parents can monitor their daughter's sexual activity.

"Giving teens some independence while simultaneously teaching morals and values to help adolescents make sound decisions down the road, seems like a trepidatious balancing act, which should only be attempted by a seasoned acrobat." Says Naragon. I agree with this statement. Well, of not just because I'm also a teen but you should really let your children to be independent. I mean it's not always that they'll need to consult you on their decisions. They're already teenagers learn to let them go, but you should always be by their sides to guide them.

In another article, "Teenagers in Love" by Nancy Kalish. It is said that, adults refer that the romantic bonds that are not taken seriously are called "Puppy love." Parents are questioning the ability of teenagers to know what love is, still they accept the statements of their children, "I love you Mom & Dad." Before, teenagers marry their first sweethearts right after high school. In a survey of 1600 people who had never tried to have a reunion with a lost love, ages 18 to 92, 56% of the participants says that they would not want to get back together with their first loves, 19% were not sure yet 25% still said they would!

"If adults accept that teenagers can love parents truly, then shouldn't they also accept teen romances are 'real' love?"  Says Kalish. I also agree with this. Why do adults think that we teenagers doesn't know love? Of course we know what love is. All of us do.

Puppy love is what they call it. It is important that we someone by our side. Ones that we are close to and someone who we trust. We teenagers need love more than anyone. Where else can we find love the love that we need? Love that is lacking from us? Of course, Someone that is going through the same events in our lives.

Blogpost #4: First love

First love, the one that you first truly have feelings for. The person who is always and will be the first person you truly fell in love with. Your first love will be one who will be the hardest to get over, the one who can make you smile without any reason. The one that you'll never forget even though everything is over between the two of you.

I read an article entitled, "The Power of First Loves" by Wendy Atterberry. On her article it says that when we experience something, like one that reminds us of our first love, dopamine and norepinephrine are chemicals from our brain that are released if we experience our "firsts". These chemicals are freed and the memories tat we have from that relationship is triggered. She also said that we can even assign the new person with the characteristics of our exes. It's called "Transference." Not only the characteristics, even your old feelings, motivations and expectations are revived.

"Many people really don't truly get over their first loves." Says Atterberry. We really don't get over them. Even though years have passed we could still remember the moments that we are with them. They made a huge impact on us because they were the one where we had our "firsts" and because they are our first love.

In another article entitled, "Adolescents in love: What makes a first love special?" By Brandon Warren. It said here that, compared looking at photographs of a friend, looking photos of your loved one generate activation in processing regions in the brain. These areas are similar to those found active under the influence of cocaine.

"The first experience of passionate love can be overwhelming and quickly turn into the most important thing in a teenager's life." Says Warren. I agree with this statement, because everyone experience having their first love and this is one of the most unforgettable moments in our life.

When we fall in love the second and third time, these feeling are more familiar, easier to control, and will be a result of less overwhelming experience. Never forget your first love. We experienced how to love through them, we experienced our "firsts" with them.

Blogpost #3: Love at first sight

Love at first sight is it true love? or just false ideas? Most people who fall in love at the first sight sometimes think that "she's the one." or "he's my soul mate." 

I read an article entitled, "Love at first sight may have a biological basis" by Laura Schwecherl. According to this article, men tend to experience love at first sight than women does. Also, people can be more prone to love at first sight when they're younger.

"But it's unclear how often love at first sight turns into a successful partnership." Says Schwecherl. It's unclear for me, because you can't fall in love with someone you just saw. Maybe just a crush or he or she just caught you attention or maybe just because of his or her looks you'll notice her. I also think that love at  first sight is just an expression used because you saw a handsome guy or a beautiful lady then later on you'll forget that you are attracted to someone.

In another article entitled, "Is There Love at First Sight?" by Elliot D. Cohen, Ph. D. It is said that we really can't reason out that we could be in love with just a sight of the person without knowing them. Now, the idea of love at first acquaintance, this is where after the first meeting, you passionately, madly, and enthusiastically say to yourself that she is the one, she is the one whom I want to spend the rest of my life.

''in some cases, when we get to know others whom we admire from a distance, we may even come to regard them as downright repulsive." I really do agree with the 'love at first acquaintance' how would you like someone if you don't know his or her personality. What if you are admiring someone from a far and then you get to know him or her. The bad thing is he or she has no manners and this turned you off? Would you still call it 'love at first sight'? For me falling in love with a person is when you've been with him or her. Maybe, on a date. You'll know his or her personality through this and you'll already know for yourself if she is the one you want to be with.

Love at first sight or Love at first acquaintance. Either way, you will still get to know the person that got your attention. Well, of course you'll have to approach her. Do what you have to do! Don't be nervous, go on a date and get to know her.